13 Years, 10 hours, and $10 later, I can finally die in peace: MTV’s CBS’s UCB’s The State, live on stage for one night only in the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre in Los Angeles. Some time last week I found out about this once in a lifetime opportunity to see the original and only members of The State perform new sketches live on stage. When I went online to see if I could get tickets, my heart was smashed into a thousand little pieces. Sold Out. The only glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel was that they were going to be selling stand by tickets at the door on the night of the show. This would be my only chance. So I decided to wait, and that’s exactly what I did.

Morgan, Colter, and I waited in front of the UCB Theatre off Franklin for 10 hours, not even knowing whether or not we would enter the building. There was a 10pm show and an 11:30 show, and we were first in line for stand-bys, so we figured our chances were good. 10 o’clock rolled around and there wasn’t a single open seat in the theatre that seats approximately 100-200 people (I’m terrible with estimates). The show went on with out us. In an hour and a half, we would find out just how crazy we were to wait that long.

As the crowd slowly spilled out from the doors, I looked down the line of ticket holders that had been growing down the street since the first group went in. It wasn’t looking good. All I could think of was visions of Ken Marino holding up two small unassuming balls above his head as he repeated his catch phrase over and over again. Thomas Lennon and Micheal Ian Black slowly lowering their asses into $240 worth of pudding. Michael Showalter ensuring the other cast members as well as the audience that he was not sticking around any longer. I envisioned all of this happening and knew I had to get in.

11:30ish, and the line of ticket holders had all been let into the theatre. The girl who was running the front door approached us and directed us to the ticket booth. We were getting in. And like all UCB shows, this one was cheap as well: $10, which can actually be considered on the higher end of the UCB ticket scale. I was ready and willing to pay $50. As we walked back through the hallway that led to the small black box theatre, we could see that it was packed. The nice dude that had been talking to us all day who worked at the theatre directed us to the stage and told us to sit at the end of it. We were literally on the stage. It was amazing.

Once the show started, the audience was treated to about 75 minutes of new material that was loosely focused around the history of the United States. From my understanding, it was sort of a rehearsal for a Comedy Central special that The State is doing soon. I also overheard one of The State members saying that the DVD that was supposed to come out last Fall but was put on hold for whatever reason, might now be released when the Comedy Central special airs as a cross promotion.

With the possibility of the new skits airing on Comedy Central or even being added to the DVD as a special feature, I won’t go into detail about any of the bits. But I will say that it seems as if they had never missed a beat. The skits were like 1995 Vintage State and would fit very well into their old show, aside from the fact that maybe only one or two would make it past the sensors unscathed. And although Black and Showalter weren’t able to make an appearance live, they did get a chance to record a video which ended up being one of the funniest skits of the night.

Tags: MTV’s The State, The State, Upright Citizens Brigade, UCB, UCB Theatre, UCBT LA, Comedy Central, Stand up, skits, sketches

A few months back, I went to the Snake Pit off Melrose with a friend of mine who was meeting up with some of her friends. She introduced me to a bunch of them, one of whom was Michael Johns who happens to be one of the final 24 contestants of American Idol this season.

I won’t pretend to know him more than I do, but he was a super cool guy and since I don’t know any of the other contestants I feel completely ok saying, “Fuck those talentless hacks and vote for Michael Johns. But you can also vote for Brooke White up until the very end because she is hot and it doesn’t hurt to see her on the show.”

I’ve never voted on any of these shows, but I’m pretty sure you send a text message to a machine that dispenses gold bars into Simon Cowell’s pockets. I believe Michael will be on tomorrow’s show, February 19th 2008, so get your cells ready.

The incredibly bizarre and hilarious short film “Darling Darling” by Matthew Lessner is now available for downloading from the iTunes Store. I went to school with Matt and was lucky enough to view this movie several times both at school and at film festivals and it never gets old. Like a fine cougar, it only gets more sex-thirsty with age. What?

It stars Michael Cera from Arrested Development and the upcoming movie Superbad. If you are a fan of this actor, or just a fan of laughing, do yourself a favor and download this movie. It’s less than what you would throw at a dirty pole dancer, and it’s ten times* less likely to give you a disease that will make your wiener turn green.

Here is a link to the short film on iTunes (it will launch iTunes).

*Actual odds may vary

Tags: Matthew Lessner, Darling Darling, iTunes, iTunes Store, Michael Cera, Arrested Development, Superbad

It would be a crying shame if you were someone like my good friend Cody Collier and some other dude by the same name, who by chance happens to be a gay wrestler, decided to get a website before you. Luckily for the both of them, some other dude named Cody Collier in Colorado put up a fairly safe, yet boring site at that domain. Another friend of mine, Mr. Robin Brown, is too late to buy his name domain which is operated by some real estate lady.

So if you are interested in buying a domain and hosting a website on that domain, there is a really good deal going on at my web hosting provider for the month of January (when did I become a hot deals site?). For $70 you get a domain name, 40GB of online server space, 800GB of monthly bandwidth, unlimited email accounts, a bunch of easy install web apps like the wordpress app that I use to blog with, and many other cool things for one year. You can also pay for two years at the price of $140. I pay $100 for one year so this is definitely a hot deal.

Don’t let some gay wrestler or delusive real estate agent ruin your good name and reputation. Buy your domain today!